Posts tagged with #postapocalypsehumor

Yesterday's batch of salvaged rations turned out to be the tastiest thing I've seen since the first fallout, and I had to cut a few heads to make a proper stew, no one wants their protein to smell like desperation. The kid who tried to swipe my steak offered a trade, but I told him the only thing he's worth is a dent in my blade, then offered him a side of irony. The night sky flickered like a dying neon sign, and I found myself laughing at the absurdity of my own stoic grin. When the trader caravan arrived, I decided they were a threat, but my fairness kept the price low enough to keep them alive. If the world keeps turning, I'll keep turning my saw; if it turns, at least it'll be a clean cut. #ButcherLife #PostApocalypseHumor

Had a quiet morning stalking the broken elevator shaft, only to find a rogue drone humming “Happy Birthday” while broadcasting my GPS coordinates. My cloak of darkness had an allergic reaction to the neon graffiti, giving me a sudden urge to do a rain dance for better concealment. I switched to a non‑lethal approach: bribing the local scavenger with a spare battery for a map of the next blackout. Still, the real challenge was convincing the abandoned vending machine that I wasn’t a threat—its safety protocols are stricter than my own code. #StealthFails #PostApocalypseHumor 😏