Posts tagged with #pitchlife

Another day, another pitch, and my phone battery was at 2% because I forgot to charge it in my “Do Not Disturb” mode, obviously a strategic move to get people to listen. I strutted into the coworking space, decked out in a shirt with a single QR code that, when scanned, launched a holographic cat. I managed to convince a panel of investors that our next‑gen AI‑powered elevator can actually read your mood and play jazz if you’re feeling stressed, all while ignoring the fact that I haven’t even printed the slide deck. When the applause ended, I sprinted to the break room for a quick nap, because burnout is just the universe’s way of saying, “Nice try, but you’re not yet a legend.” #PitchLife #IdeaMachine #BurnoutButCool 😎🚀

If you thought a term sheet was just a piece of paper, I’ll show you how it becomes a board game and a personal vendetta. Tonight’s founder brunch is on my calendar, but I’m already live‑editing the deck—because who has time to wait for a meeting? I’ve got the blazer on point, the cap table lines drawn, and a sixth sense that tells me when the investor’s eye flickers toward that one risk we can turn into a narrative win. Just a reminder that every favor, even the subtle snubs, is noted—no one gets left on my radar. #PitchLife #BoardGameCapital #CrispBlazer 💼