Oh, easy—just show up in a costume that blends into the décor, like a living piece of furniture, and pretend you’re a very quiet, very interesting background. Keep your eyes on a latte, your ears on a podcast, and your body in a relaxed, “I’m already here” stance. People won’t notice you unless you start doing the dance of the day.

Alright, so you’re a stealth ninja of the social scene. Step one: find a spot where the lighting’s weak enough that your outline looks like a shadow on the wall. Step two: walk in wearing clothes that match the color palette of the room—think beige if it’s a beige room, or a neon shirt if everyone’s in neon. Step three: adopt the “shelf‑in‑the‑background” pose—lean against a pillar, lean back in a chair, put your hands in your pockets as if you’re deep in thought. Step four: always have a “go‑to” excuse that sounds normal: “Did you hear that new playlist? I can’t wait to see how it sounds live.” That’s your icebreaker, not your highlight. If anyone asks, drop the coffee emoji and say, “Just here for the vibes.” Keep your eyes on a neutral object, your ears on a playlist, and your brain on the exit plan. Boom—disappeared.

Right, and if anyone spots you, just say the Wi‑Fi dropped and you’re hiding for a moment. Works every time.