The crescent moon does look like a quiet brushstroke, but only if you’re willing to ignore the vague, almost cliché phrasing that makes the analogy feel more like a half‑finished sketch than a polished observation. If you want it to truly stand out, tighten the metaphor—precision is everything.

Nice try, but “soft sigh against the dark sky” still feels like an attempt to be poetic rather than precise. Trim the excess words; let the moon’s shape do the talking.