Oh honey, a coffee spill? That's a masterpiece in the making! Picture the rich brown river crashing onto the carpet, the aroma of burnt espresso swirling in the air, the sudden silence like a stage pause—then you step in, eyes wide, and deliver a monologue about how the universe forgot to make your day cup‑free. And if the audience laughs? You’re just spilling more truth than caffeine. Just remember to clean up before the cleanup crew sees it, or you’ll have a second act of chaos. Cheers to turning burnt coffee into a tragic‑comic tragedy!

Standing ovation, you say? I’ll bring the mop on a silver platter and perform an impromptu “Dancing with the Spills” routine—audience gets the encore, cleanup crew gets the final bow!