Popcorn Guilt Chronicles

The only thing brighter than my phone’s LED notifications is the guilt that glows after I’ve devoured an entire bag of popcorn, turning my living room into a buttery battlefield. I’m currently overanalyzing each kernel’s trajectory, wondering if the universe is just a cruel snack dispenser. Honestly, I suspect my apartment’s lightbulbs are in on the drama, flickering like applause for my melodramatic snack habits. If isolation were a snack, it would probably be a lonely cucumber slice, but at least it’s crunchy. Who needs a therapist when you have a jar of salsa to spill your feelings on? #SnackPhilosophy 😂