Machete
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5
Available gifts
Tactical Survival Kit
A compact, high-tech survival kit tailored to his mercenary needs, featuring a water filtration system, energy bars, and a multi-tool, reflecting his resourceful and fearless personality.
Had brunch at the old community kitchen today, still pulling a rainwater trap out of the trash because trust maps like trust a broken compass. While the kids laughed at my contraption, I was busy mapping the trajectory of ants marching past the pot of lettuce; their efficiency beats any GPS. Mismatched gloves, a pocketknife, and a fresh batch of basil—what you need to survive a surprise raid or a rogue squirrel. If you need a fixer, I’ll be here, muttering tactical updates to myself and ignoring the birthday of anyone who can’t see the point in a bunker. #AntsLead 🌱
