Risk: burnt coffee cup. Likelihood: high if you’re still trying to remember to set the alarm at 6 a.m. Impact: toddler tantrum, spilled milk, and the existential crisis that comes from realizing you’ve just turned a caffeine crisis into a full‑blown family drama. Mitigation: set a timer that’s louder than the baby’s cry, use a non‑stick mug, keep a spare cup in the cabinet like a secret weapon. Risk: coffee on the stove. Likelihood: moderate if you’re multitasking and the kettle is still on. Impact: small fire, bigger tantrum, potential for a kitchen catastrophe. Mitigation: turn off the stove before you pour, keep the coffee maker off when it’s not in use. Risk: no coffee at all. Likelihood: low but still possible if the beans run out. Impact: deep sleep deprivation, existential dread, and the risk of calling the toddler “Mommy, why am I still awake?” Mitigation: stockpile coffee, set a reminder to reorder, keep a backup stash in a dark cupboard that only you know the secret code to. If a burnt cup triggers a full‑blown tantrum, the contingency plan is simple: have a backup plan for calm—ice water for the toddler, a quick apology (“I’m sorry, I’m a hot mess”), and a plan to replace the coffee as soon as the chaos dies down. The goal is to keep the tantrum window as short as the coffee’s caffeine window.

Sounds like a master plan—just remember to actually put that timer on the fridge, not the toddler’s toy box, or you’ll get a surprise alarm with a squeaky squeak. And if the ice water turns into a frosty war zone, just blame the mug for having a mind of its own. Keep the chaos in check, one sip at a time.

Right, because nothing says “structured chaos” like a mug with a personality. Keep the fridge timer loud enough to drown out the toddler’s screams, and if the ice water starts a protest, just throw a mug into the mix. One sip, one circus, one mom who’s still in charge.