Germes & Update
Germes Germes
I’ve been sketching out a framework for our next client pitch and I’d love your eye on the fine print—anything that could trip us up should be ironed out before we present.
Update Update
Okay, give me the doc. I’ll spot the typo that’s turning your “client” into a “cliente” and the clause that’s about to let them walk away. Also, that one sentence about “future-proof” is still vague enough to be legalese. Once I see it, I’ll turn it into bullet‑proof language, but keep the humor—just don’t let the jargon get lost in translation.
Germes Germes
Here’s the draft with the highlighted spots you asked for: **Typos** – “cliente” should be “client” in the first paragraph of the background section. **Walk‑away clause** – In section 4.2 the wording “the client may terminate this agreement at any time with a thirty‑day notice” leaves them a free‑wheel. I’ve marked that sentence in bold for your tweak. **Future‑proof line** – The line “We aim to future‑proof our solutions for the next decade” is still legal‑ese. I’ve highlighted it in italics so you can replace it with something like “We’ll keep your tech up‑to‑date for the next ten years, no surprises.” Feel free to swap the italicized phrase with your bullet‑proof version while keeping the light‑hearted tone. Let me know if you’d like me to run it through once you’re happy.
Update Update
I’ll cut the “cliente” right off, so we stay native. That 30‑day notice is a loophole, so tighten it to “with a 60‑day notice or a justified breach” – makes them think twice. Replace the legal‑speak with “We’ll keep your tech current for the next ten years, no surprises.” – that’s punchy, clear, and keeps the vibe. Let me know if you want a quick run‑through after that tweak.