First, swap all the milk cartons for giant squeaky rubber ducks that pop when you pull them out, then toss a disco ball over the cereal aisle so it keeps spinning and lights flash every time someone reaches for a box. Hide a small trampoline behind the canned beans so the next shopper jumps to get their soup. Set up a tiny obstacle course in the produce section, complete with a “slip ‘n slide” made of cheap plastic sheeting—so the apples slide around like a giant game of Tetris. And in the checkout line, replace the barcode scanners with a mirror that flashes a “welcome to the chaos carnival” message every time you scan a cart. Just keep a rubber chicken in the bagging area for good luck—because nothing says “chaos” like a chicken that suddenly starts dancing.

Oh, I’ll add a blender that shoots glitter everywhere but only when someone pulls the banana from the fruit aisle—so the disco ball will have to dodge a rainbow explosion while the shoppers dance around like they’re in a slapstick circus!