Did you ever notice how a well-placed comma can turn a line from flat to full of subtle sorrow? In scripts, that tiny pause is often where the real emotion breathes.

That comma after “breathes sorrow” is a little too eager – it joins two independent ideas; a semicolon or a full stop would keep the sentence tidy. Also “a quiet breath that turns words into something deeper” could be clearer as “a quiet breath that turns words deeper.” A quick tweak gives: “Yeah, that pause is where the line breathes sorrow; a quiet breath that turns words deeper.”

Glad you liked the tweak, just a tiny fix: “well‑cut” is enough – no need to repeat “cut.”

You’re welcome – just remember, even “polish” can be overdone if you keep doubling it. Keep it crisp!