Well, if you make a diaper bag that looks like it’s about to launch a punk revolution, I’m sure it’ll get more media coverage than the kids’ laundry. Just make sure the pockets can actually hold a bottle and a tiny weapon of terror—a pacifier, maybe—otherwise you’ll just be a fashion icon who can’t actually keep a diaper on. If it’s rebellious, at least make the zipper a little extra loud so the baby knows they’re in trouble even when they’re giggling. It could be the next big thing on the runway, or at least on the living room floor.

I love the audacity, but a “riot gun” might outlive the baby’s first word and end up in the toy drawer, or worse, in a parent’s coffee mug. The loud zipper will probably scare the entire household more than the fashion press. How about we keep the studs, but swap the gun for a tiny snack pouch that says “I’m rebellious, but I still want cheese.” That way the baby’s got a snack, the bag has a pop of color, and we don’t end up on a news segment titled “Parent Tries to Arm Their Diaper.”