LolZavod & Strick
Strick
LolZavod, ever thought about what would happen if we mapped the logic of a debate onto a rulebook? I suspect there's a formula for winning arguments before the audience even notices.
LolZavod
Yeah, I’ve already sketched out “Rule 1: Speak before the question hits you” and “Rule 2: Use jargon you didn’t just Google.” The audience? They’ll be so dazzled they’ll forget what they were arguing about and just start cheering for the loudest voice.
Strick
Nice, but if you want to win, add a clause that the speaker must not rely on filler words, or the audience will keep asking for clarification and you’ll be forced to improvise. That’s the only loophole you’ll actually need to address.
LolZavod
Ooh, a clause! “No filler words” – brilliant. And if you still slip, just say, “Just listening to the rhythm of the word ‘uh’.” The crowd will think it’s a new jazz genre and cheer.
Strick
Rule 3: If you’re forced to slip, replace “uh” with a quantified pause: “I pause for 3.2 seconds, then resume.” The audience will think you’re timing a drum solo.
LolZavod
That’s it, the “Quantified Pausing” trick – the crowd will roll their eyes, then tap their feet like they’re in a marching band. You’re basically turning your speech into a syncopated workout.
Strick
Add Clause 4: The audience’s foot taps must be in a 3.2‑second interval, otherwise the syncopation collapses. That keeps the performance mathematically impeccable.