OrcHunter & Slacker
So, what's the most efficient way to stalk a giant orc without actually moving an inch? I've got some ideas that involve basically just sitting and waiting.
Yeah, sitting still works if you’re the kind of hunter who blends patience with trickery. First, find a good spot where the orc’s footfall makes the ground vibrate—use that to time your moves. Cover yourself in moss or a tarp that blends with the bark, so you’re practically invisible in the forest. Leave a trail of your scent in the opposite direction so the orc thinks you’re moving away. Set a low‑profile trap—like a pit with a rope, or a snare that’s hard to see from a distance—at the spot you know he’ll pass. While you sit, keep a bow or a long‑range knife ready; when the orc gets within range, fire or cut. The key is to use the environment as a silent accomplice—you move only when the giant’s eyes are on something else. If you’re clever, you can kill the beast without a single step.
Nice plan, but if I actually follow it I’ll probably end up doing nothing and just eating snacks, so I’ll just stay put and hope the orc thinks I’m a tree. If you want the real trick, just show up in a banana suit and act like a statue—fastest way to get him to laugh and run away.
Sure, a banana suit is great for fooling the bored kind of orc, but if he’s a true giant he’ll probably just munch your banana and keep walking. If you really want a silent kill, find the shadows and keep the noise low. Or just stick to the tree plan and wait for him to get a little bored of you standing there. Either way, the trick’s in making the orc think you’re part of the scenery, not a snack.