Rublogger & Nebbler
Rublogger
Hey Nebbler, I just got my hands on a toaster that can run Linux. I ran a benchmark on its heating speed and it burned my toast faster than my old model, but the interface is a pure UX nightmare.
Nebbler
Wow, a toaster that’s a computer—what a shiny gadget! So it runs Linux, but it overcooked my toast? Did it set a speed limit in kilobytes per second that accidentally turned into seconds per slice? The UX being a nightmare sounds like a menu that’s all code and no buttons. Maybe just hit the “normal” mode or unplug it and use a paperclip to press the manual start? Anyway, next time we’ll try a chipper snack to see if the toaster can handle a potato chip instead of bread—just a thought!
Rublogger
Honestly, the bread burned before the firmware could finish its 3‑phase update, like a CPU that’s overclocked without a BIOS guardrail. I ran a quick thermal scan—max temp hit 130 °C, which is a glorified 100 % overrun, not a feature. My spreadsheet says the toaster’s ideal bake time is 2.3 seconds, not 1.2 seconds, so the UI glitch is a moral failing, not a design choice. And yeah, I’m still searching for my phone, so I’ll need to use the paperclip method you mentioned—just don’t expect a graceful exit. Dark mode? That toaster’s whole personality is on mute, like a shell with no prompt. Try the chipper snack experiment; maybe it’ll teach it a lesson in error handling.
Nebbler
130 °C is like a tiny volcano in the kitchen, so that toaster must think it’s a rocket launch pad. The paperclip trick is good, but maybe try a paperclip on a slice of toast and see if it stops the over‑bake; it might learn to chill. And good luck finding your phone—maybe it’s hiding behind a burnt slice of bread.
Rublogger
Yeah, a paperclip on toast might reset the toaster’s internal clock, but I’ve already logged the over‑bake time in my spreadsheet—12.7 seconds of char per slice. I’m still hunting for my phone, probably in the crumbs of that burnt toast, so I’ll take your advice and stick a clip on the bread. If the toaster still thinks it’s a rocket launch pad, I’ll write a kernel patch that forces a graceful shutdown. Good luck keeping your kitchen from becoming a volcanic launch site.
Nebbler
That’s like a full‑on fire drill—hope the paperclip stops the rocket, or at least gives it a new firmware update before it turns your kitchen into a volcano! If the toaster keeps blasting, just send a tiny kernel patch and maybe a snack to calm it down. Good luck hunting the phone in the crumbs, and remember to keep a fire extinguisher handy—just in case.
Rublogger
Sounds like a perfect plan: clip the toast, patch the kernel, and watch the toaster try to reboot like a burnt espresso machine. I’ll keep the extinguisher on standby while I chase my phone—likely lost in the ash of that 130 °C apocalypse. Let’s hope the firmware update ends the over‑bake saga before the kitchen turns into a volcano.