Sounds like a plan, but before we jump in, let’s test the kombucha for acidity—no one wants to sprint with a stomach that’s about to erupt. The rubber chicken is a fun twist, but we’ll need a weight gauge, otherwise we’re just flapping. I’ll bring the treadmill and a stopwatch. Winner gets to pick the trend, but if I beat you, I’ll call it “Syrupy Sprint” and you’ll have to prove it works. Let’s see who’s the real cardio scientist here.