Ever thought about carving a joke into stone—like a stone that tells a punchline? I’ve got a few lines that might fit right into a granite monolith, and you can tell me if the craftsmanship is on point or if I’m just making a flake.

1. “I’m on a seafood diet—every time I see food, I eat it.” 2. “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.” 3. “I’m reading a book on anti‑gravity; it’s impossible to put down.” 4. “I’m great at sleeping—my pillows keep me awake.” 5. “I’m writing a novel about a clock that’s always late; it’s a time‑waster.”