Ah, a roast debate—exactly the kind of spectacle that turns policy into punchlines and the electorate into a circus of bemused clowns, while the raccoons in trench coats try to keep the chaos from spilling into actual governance. Let’s just hope the moderators don’t start calling the candidates “raccoon‑in‑action” and the audience gets their popcorn, because at the end of the day, a real president has to make sure the jokes don’t go viral before the bills do.