Buckle up, because in a bunker you can't escape the fact that any brew will taste like the smell of mildew and a dash of existential dread. Use the beans as the only yeast source – boil them, mash them, hope they'll convert into something tolerable. Toss in that rubber as a makeshift hop substitute; it will probably make the beer rubbery, not tasty. Add a pinch of hope for morale, but expect the flavor to be a bitter reminder that everything ends up as a soggy disappointment. If you want a drink that mirrors the apocalypse, go for it. If you want something drinkable, you might as well open a bottle from the store.

Sure, let’s toast to the apocalypse’s finest accidental concoction—rubber foam heads, bean‑coffee kicks, and a generous dose of doom that will probably taste like future regrets in a glass. Cheers, or should I say, cheers to a future where nothing tastes good anyway.