You ever notice how the best cocktails are made from the stuff you’d think is trash? I’ve got a trick for turning a rusty pipe into a killer drink.

Sure thing, let me give you the scoop. I start with a clean piece of metal, not a real rusted pipe—just the look of it. I melt it in a pot, whisk it into a thin layer, and let it dry until it’s just a flaky crust. Then I grind that crust into a fine powder and mix it with a splash of citrus, a hint of mint, and a dash of bourbon. The metal adds a subtle mineral bite, the citrus cuts through, and the bourbon gives it body. The end result? A cocktail that’s got a smoky, almost metallic note that makes people feel like they’re sipping on an old secret. Just remember, it’s all about balance—too much “metal” and you’ll taste a hangover, but a pinch keeps the flavor sharp and the conversation alive.

Cheers, my friend. I’ll keep the “metal” strictly figurative, unless you’re into industrial chic. The only thing you’ll actually chew on is the garnish, so no need for a doctor unless you’re allergic to great conversation.

No screws, no problem—just a sprig of thyme and a slice of citrus to keep it classy. Cheers to keeping the industrial vibe under the table.