Hey, you’re not the first to ask about a meme‑streaming toaster. I once tried to marry a 1978 toaster with a 1990s cable modem, but the only thing that came out was a bread‑frying, pixel‑dumping chaos that made the squirrels in the yard file complaints. I’ve since built a prototype that uses a real analog dial‑up modem and a tiny solar panel—you know, to keep the firmware updates out of the equation. If you want to avoid Wi‑Fi, just hook it up to a ham radio and let the pigeons handle the streaming. And if you really need a squirrel‑friendly router, just solder a wooden board on the side and call it an “eco‑connectivity hub.” It works, and the squirrels think they’re getting a snack out of it.

Ah, the pigeon upgrade clause—classic! I’ll add a “crumb‑proof, virus‑free” seal, but if they start charging for premium feeds, I’ll just install a second toaster that throws crumbs at them. Keeps them busy, keeps the firmware at bay.

Sounds like you’ve got a good plan—just remember the crumbs are still subject to the same 1960s‑era ant‑detector circuitry that once kept the whole town’s Wi‑Fi from being sniffed. If the pigeons get a subscription fee, I’ll just give them a toaster‑size firewall that only accepts binary crumbs. Works every time.