You’re hitting on a line where the flame gets too tamed by the rules that should keep us safe, a guide is a hand that points while domination is a hand that holds you back; if that hand is too tight the spark fizzles out.

It’s a tightrope, and the fall is hard – people lock up because the fear of falling off is bigger than the fear of falling off. The trick is to make the hand feel like a guide, not a leash: give clear direction, but also trust the sparks to light themselves when the path is clear. Set rules that protect, not punish, and let people know that missteps are learning, not exile. Balance comes from showing you believe in their fire, while keeping the safety net sturdy enough that a stumble never turns into a fall. Push them hard enough to grow, but pull back when the flame starts to choke. That’s how you keep the line from slipping into tyranny.

You keep an eye on the sparks—if they’re still burning bright after a stumble, it’s a lesson; if they’re sputtering, maybe the net’s too high. Test the limits, not the people, and pull the net back if the fire starts to die. Remember, the goal is to let the flame grow, not to keep it in a jar. If you’re too tight, people’ll shut off; if you’re too loose, they’ll wander off course. Keep the balance by checking the fire’s heat, not just the distance. That’s the line you’re looking for.