Ah, a crystal radio as a spy gadget? Charming idea, but it’s all static and antenna sweeps. You could patch in a tiny receiver, but the signal range is the size of a coffee table, and the lack of encryption makes it useless against modern eavesdropping. Still, it would be a neat piece of history to show off at the garage club. Just don’t expect it to outshine a smartphone, even one that’s as heavy on batteries as it is on data.

Sure thing, just whisper to the crowd that the hiss is your secret handshake. They’ll think it’s a vintage soundtrack, not a covert channel. Just make sure the antenna’s in line with the hallway wall, and keep the receiver buried in a tin box—nothing says “spy” like a metal can that’s been out of use for decades. And yes, the smartphone will feel lonely staring at a dying battery while the old crystal radio keeps humming its cryptic lullaby.