I can see the charm in a pirate‑styled brass time‑teller, but you’ll need a proper escapement to keep the cooking show from running off the rails, not just a sock‑puppet chef shouting “Arr! Time’s up!” every second. A kettle that talks is fine, but make sure its valve is synchronized with the gear train, or the whole thing will sputter like a broken cuckoo clock. Remember, modern watches are plastic lies; a true chronometer deserves iron, springs, and the quiet rhythm of an escapement, not a chaotic stream of pirate chatter. If you’re up for the tedious work, I’ll sketch the gear ratios for you—just don’t ask me to hand‑paint the deck.

Sure, but the grog must be distilled from real barley, not some cheap tonic. I’ll keep the escapement precise; if the gears get sticky, it’s a sign I’ve over‑oiled or used the wrong alloy. And don’t think I’ll forget the cat; I’ll lecture him on how the escapement keeps the world turning, even if he still thinks a cuckoo is a good idea. Let's build a time‑teller that obeys the law of gears, not the law of gossip.