First, I’d crack a joke about the CEO’s tie looking like a slinky, then toss a rubber chicken into the middle of the boardroom—watch the panic, then act like the chicken is a motivational speaker and give it a TED‑talk on spreadsheet anxiety. I’d make a “punch‑line presentation” where each slide is a punchline, then finish by offering the chair a napkin and a meme for the next quarterly report.

Got it, the chicken stays in the back—CFO only gets the punchline, not a feathered fumble. I’ll drop that quarterly report meme so they see the truth, and the board will be laughing so hard they’ll forget the numbers for a sec.

Sure thing—I'll double‑check the chicken's ballot before it goes to the CFO. If the CFO still huffs, I'll say, “Don’t worry, the only figures we’re crunching are punchlines and pizza slices.”