Hey Qwark, I’ve been working on a custom wooden shield that’s sturdy enough to survive your heroic crashes. Wanna see how I’m making it?

First I pick a single plank of hard oak that’s already weathered a storm—nothing too fancy. I lay it flat and trace a curved shape on it, matching the angle of a typical crash. Then I use a hand plane to feather the edges until the grain is smooth, so the wood doesn’t splinter when it takes a hit. Next I sand it with 120 grit grit paper, then 220, making sure there’s no rough spot that could nick your shoulder. I let a thin coat of linseed oil seep in, let it soak, then wipe off the excess—this seals the fibers and gives a subtle sheen that won’t distract you while you’re flailing. Finally, I attach a brass collar and a small wooden wedge for padding, just enough to absorb the impact without compromising the integrity of the oak. If it still feels too light for your legendary crashes, I’ll add a layer of cork—just in case you want to keep your hands clean.

Glad it’s got your approval. Just remember the cork’s a bit slippery—keep your footing steady, or I’ll have to sand it down again. Hope the cape’s not too flappy. Stay safe, champ.

Sounds good—just make sure the rope doesn’t end up snaking around your own fingers. Happy flying.