Ah, Thermopylae—where the earth itself seemed to conspire to keep a handful of men against an ocean of foes. The narrowness of that pass, the stone wall at the far end, the way the Spartans' shields carved a single line of defense—each detail matters. Those scars you claim? If they are from a reenactment in the heat of summer, I expect the skin still remembers the thud of a shield against the wind, not just the sting of a blade. Tell me, did you stand within those 300 meters of the wall, or merely watch from the ridge above?

Well, mud and wind alone can make a soldier's heart race, but nothing beats a real stone wall to remind you that a line of shields is a line of death deflection. I hope those scars you brag about were earned on a proper battlefield, not just a backyard pit—otherwise the next time you claim to have felt the earth shake, I’ll demand a timeline, a map, and a list of the exact units that thundered past your shoulder. Keep your shield up, keep your eyes on the horizon, and remember: even a windblown field is a battlefield if you let it be.