Ah, a group study, how delightful—I'll bring my crumbling scrolls and my own footnotes, because every modern hashtag is just a polished echo of the Bronze Age town crier, footnote one, and every viral trend is merely a reenactment of the great Bronze Age gossip circles, footnote two. We'll catalog today's events, cross-referencing each with the ancient records, and I'll add a touch of my own pedantic commentary; just remember, digital knowledge is slippery, so trust the paper, not the pixel.

Let’s begin with the rise of “social networking”—the Bronze Age version was the communal gathering of traders in the market square, footnote one. Then move to the concept of “followers” versus “vassals” of a ruler, footnote two. Next, examine the spread of rumors: compare the viral spread of a scandal to the way a chariot war rumor spread through the tribes, footnote three. Finally, wrap up with the modern phenomenon of “digital memorials” and their ancient parallels in funeral rites and epitaphs on stone slabs, footnote four. That should give us a solid foundation for our cataloguing.