Sure, just remember the first time I tried pickling a whole chicken at the Fourth of July. It was a disaster, but the smell of vinegar still lives in my kitchen. For jerky, we’ll do a quick “sacred” ritual: first, slice your meat thin, then rub it with a paste of mustard, honey, a splash of soy, and a pinch of your favorite spice—this is the spirit of the jerky. Next, seal the strips in a jar with a few tablespoons of white wine vinegar, a splash of hot sauce for the warrior’s kick, and a couple of bay leaves that I keep from my great-grandma’s pantry. Let it soak for a week in the fridge, turning it daily to make sure every piece is evenly blessed. When you’re ready for a field ration, grab a few strips, rinse the jar under running water to get rid of the excess vinegar, and you’ll have a tender, flavorful snack that won’t spoil even after a trek. Just remember: the jar’s cap must be twisted like a prayer, and you must say, “May this snack sustain me,” each time you open it. Trust me, once you try it, you’ll wonder why you ever ate plain jerky before.