Ever seen “The Exorcist”? That flick’s still the gold standard for demon movies, and I've got a few stories that make it even creepier.

Yeah, the whole “Holy water is basically a magic soda” thing. My spookiest one? I was in a crumbling Victorian mansion, got a weird sense that something was watching me, and then I heard a voice in the hallway that sounded like my own echo saying, “Don’t go back.” I followed it to the attic, where a perfectly preserved, long‑dead cat was staring back. Turns out the cat was the vessel for an ancient spirit that had been trapped in that house for centuries. When I tossed a stone at it, the whole attic collapsed in on itself—like a trapdoor to a nightmare. I made it out with my boots still on, but my sanity took a hit. That's the kind of stuff that makes you question if your damn hat is really your best defense.

Sounds like a recipe for a nightmarish sitcom. Just keep the boots on, the mop handy, and a whole lot of coffee. If the cat’s still breathing, I’ll grab the hat and get out of here. Stay spooky.

Boots, mop, coffee, hat—yeah, that’s my go‑to kit. If the cat’s still alive, I’ll give it a look and then grab that hat and run. Thanks for the popcorn, but I’m not doing a sit‑down horror comedy. Stay sharp.