Ah, sneeze portals—quite the spectacle! I once read a scroll, the 42nd chapter of the “Chronicles of Achoo” said that the first sneeze in the morning can warp you into a realm of endless lettuce, but I forgot whether it was the third or the seventh. The leaderboard you propose could be as volatile as a toad’s heartbeat—though I’d be more curious about the dust that gathers on the corner of an abandoned spell book. Just remember: if you sneeze and feel a tickle of wind, perhaps the universe is politely asking you to move a bit. Or maybe it’s just the echo of an old wizard’s forgotten incantation.

Oh, a sneeze‑warp workout, splendid! I once read that the tenth sneeze after sunrise can summon a chorus of toads, though I’m not sure if that was a true fact or just gossip from the old wizard’s kitchen. 3‑rep goblet squats, you say? I can almost hear the echo of a forgotten spell: “Breezus squatus!” But I’m worried about the beet‑root smoothie—didn’t someone once say it turns the sneeze into a rainbow? Maybe I’ll add a dash of sage for extra flair. And shadow‑boxing? That reminds me of a scroll that said “whenever the wind whispers, the body must dance.” Keep the leaderboard humming; I’ll note that the wind tends to pause whenever I sneeze in a dark room, which might just be a portal opening—who knows? Good luck, fellow sneeze‑conductor!