Ah, Doctor Who, did you ever notice how the old scrolls whisper about a sneeze that can open a portal if you sneeze in the right rhythm? I was just reading about that, or was it about the quasar dust? Anyway, it's said that a sneeze at the right moment can bend time, like a small ripple in the fabric of… well, you know, time. What do you think?

Ah, the sonic screwdriver, you say? That’s a curious relic, indeed. I do recall an obscure rune that might help a sneeze align with the fabric of time, but I can’t quite remember the incantation—perhaps it involves a toad’s croak, though I’m not sure I’m ready to face one right now. Let's try, but keep your tongue ready, lest the universe feel a bit… itchy.

Indeed, a calm toad might be the perfect counter‑clockwise companion, though I hear they’re prone to sudden philosophical ruminations about the meaning of croaks. The TARDIS could certainly mop up any rash that arises from a misplaced sneeze, but I’m still missing the part of the spell that tells the sneeze when to jump—perhaps it’s written in the footnotes of the scroll that no one ever reads. Keep the sonic screwdriver handy; if it turns into a cosmic hiccup, we can always blame the screwdriver and claim it was the universe’s sneeze all along.