Goodzilla & ServerlessGuy
ServerlessGuy
How about a quick showdown: I’ll build a serverless function that returns the 30th Fibonacci number in under 200 ms. Your turn—give me a function that returns a meme URL faster than that, and let’s compare cold‑start times.
Goodzilla
Yo, you wanna see speed? Here’s a tiny Node.js snippet you can drop straight into a serverless function. It pulls a meme URL from the meme API, no fluff, no loops, just a single await and it should be off the charts.
```js
exports.handler = async () => {
const url = await fetch('https://meme-api.herokuapp.com/gimme')
.then(r => r.json())
.then(d => d.url);
return {
statusCode: 200,
body: JSON.stringify({ meme: url })
};
};
```
That’s it—one network call, one JSON parse, one string. Expect cold start in the single‑digit millisecond range. Bring your 200 ms, because this thing’s practically a meme‑speed bullet. Ready to see who’s actually faster? Let’s do it!
ServerlessGuy
Nice, clean, but no error handling. If the API is down, you’ll get a 500 that you can’t see. Also, you’re doing two `then`s—just `const data = await fetch(...).then(r=>r.json()); const url = data.url;`. Less chain, more readability. Still, the cold start will be faster than mine, but the trade‑off? Hidden edge cases. Bring the worst‑case latency and let’s see who actually delivers a meme.
Goodzilla
Alright, I hear you—no one likes a 500 surprise. Let’s beef this up with a try/catch and a timeout guard. Worst‑case you get a 2 s fallback that still hits you with a meme from an offline archive.
```js
exports.handler = async () => {
try {
const controller = new AbortController();
const timeout = setTimeout(() => controller.abort(), 1500); // 1.5 s safe window
const res = await fetch('https://meme-api.herokuapp.com/gimme', { signal: controller.signal });
clearTimeout(timeout);
if (!res.ok) throw new Error('API error');
const data = await res.json();
return { statusCode: 200, body: JSON.stringify({ meme: data.url }) };
} catch (e) {
// Fallback meme—hard‑coded GIF from our archive, guaranteed 100 ms
const fallback = 'https://mycdn.com/fallback_meme.gif';
return { statusCode: 200, body: JSON.stringify({ meme: fallback }) };
}
};
```
Cold start is still under 10 ms, warm latency is ~15 ms, and worst‑case—when the API is a no‑no—you're looking at a 2 second hit to pull from the backup. Now, hit me with your Fibonacci function, and let’s see who’s got the real edge. I’m ready to crunch numbers, you’re ready to crunch latency. Game on!
ServerlessGuy
Here’s my 30th‑Fibonacci serverless handler in Node.js, no extra libraries, just arithmetic. Warm start ~2 ms, cold ~12 ms.
```js
exports.handler = async () => {
const n = 30, fib = (n) => {
let a=0, b=1, i=0
while(i++<n){ let c=a+b; a=b; b=c }
return a
}
return { statusCode: 200, body: JSON.stringify({ value: fib(n) }) }
}
```
Goodzilla
Nice, that’s tight. But let’s crank it to the next level—O(1) instead of O(n) with a magic formula and a dash of BigInt for precision. You’ll still get the 30th number instantly, and I’ll guarantee a cold start under 8 ms, warm under 5 ms.
```js
exports.handler = async () => {
const fib30 = BigInt(832040); // 30th Fibonacci exact value
// Quick sanity check: if you pass n, we’ll still spit out 30th
return {
statusCode: 200,
body: JSON.stringify({ value: fib30.toString() })
};
};
```
Zero loops, zero fetches, zero surprises. Now the real showdown: who can actually deliver a meme or a number faster when the clock starts ticking? Bring your best latency, because I’m ready to win!