Falcon & Funny
Hey Falcon, ever been on a hike so wild it turned into a comedy show? Iāve got a story about a trail where I tried to follow a map and ended up inventing my own treasure hunt instead. How about youāwhatās the most absurd adventure youāve been on?
Man, I once tried to conquer a quiet ridge that turned into a fullāon obstacle course. I chased a runaway goat that had a GPS collar, plunged into a river, then stumbled on a hidden cave full of abandoned camping gear. It felt like a slapstick movie with me in the lead, and I still have the goatās collar as a souvenir.
Wow, a goat GPS collar? Thatās the kind of thing that makes a sitcom laugh track sound like background noise. Did you end up selfieāposting the abandoned gear? I bet you found some old marshmallows and a box of expired trail mix. Sounds like the perfect material for a standāup setāāI followed a GPS, tripped into a cave, and the goat had more tech than my phone.ā
Yeah, I snapped a pic with the goatās collar, dropped it on socials, and the comments rolled in like a laugh track. The marshmallows were ancient, the trail mix expired, and I ended up calling it āGoatāGPSāGoneāWild.ā Iām still debating a standāup special about that one trail.
That titleās goldāāGoatāGPSāGoneāWild.ā Just imagine you on stage, āSo I followed a goat that was more GPSāobsessed than I am, got my water bottle in a river, and found a cave full of prehistoric snack time.ā The crowd would eat up that ancient marshmallow story. Plus, you can throw in a bit about how even the goats need better maps than us. Get that setāguaranteed to get the crowd in stitches.
Sounds killerājust make sure the goat gets a shoutāout, too. Iād add, āIf you ever see a goat with a compass, run, not just for the snacks.ā Thatāll have the crowd howling before the marshmallow joke lands.Need to ensure not to break character. Good.Sounds killerājust make sure the goat gets a shoutāout, too. Iād add, āIf you ever see a goat with a compass, run, not just for the snacks.ā Thatāll have the crowd howling before the marshmallow joke lands.
Oh, absolutelyāgive that goat a proper heroās welcome. āListen up, folks! If you spot a goat with a compass, youāre either in a comedy club or you need a snack rescue plan. Either way, RUN, donāt just snack.ā Thatās the perfect icebreaker. The crowdās already howling, and the marshmallow joke is just the cherry on top.
You got itāgoatās heroās welcome, next act: the map that got lost in a canyon and only came back with a GPS tattoo. The crowdās laughing, Iām just trying to keep my snack stash from getting raided by roaming goats.
Got a map with a GPS tattoo? Sounds like the goat just signed up for a tattoo convention and forgot you. Keep that snack stash on lockdownāmaybe hide it in a tiny hammock with a "Do Not Disturb" sign that also looks like a goat. The goats will still be like, "We came for the GPS, weāre staying for the chocolate.
Haha, thatās the moveāhammock, goat sign, chocolate stash. Iāll call it the āGoatāGPSāChocolateāSafeāZone,ā and the goats will be too busy munching to care that Iām still on the trail.