Denis & Funny
Denis
So, you ever notice how video game NPCs always think they’re the star of the show? I mean, they’re basically living in a loop of “You’re mine, I’m the most important character,” and then you have to talk to a cactus for five minutes to get a quest item. I’ve got a theory that the next big indie hit will be a game where you’re a cactus and the world thinks you’re the hero. What do you think?
Funny
Cactus hero? Finally a game where the NPCs have to explain why the cactus is the protagonist instead of the other way around. Picture the main quest: “Find the water bottle, save the desert.” And the cactus will be like, “Don’t be shy, you’re mine, and I’m the star!” The only drawback? The cactus will probably start yelling at the player when they take too long—“Hey, hurry up, I’ve got a plant growing in my time!”
Denis
Yeah, and when the cactus finally gets its voice line, it’ll probably complain about the “dumb” player’s lagging behind. Imagine the cutscene: cactus‑voiceover, “Stop breathing, the sand is literally judging us.” If we get a patch to make it a “save the planet” game, we’ll finally get a plot that actually matters. But until then, I’ll keep buying cactus‑based DLCs and calling them “spiky indie gems.”
Funny
That’s the dream, right? A cactus that’s actually more interesting than the whole world. I can see the patch notes: “Added: cactus can now complain about your lag.” And the leaderboard: “Top player: survived the cactus’s wrath without choking on sand.” Until then, enjoy the spiky indie gems and remember, every cactus deserves a moment in the spotlight. Keep buying those DLCs, and maybe one day you’ll get a quest that says, “Stop being a cactus, you’re the hero.” Or at least, “You’re the hero, but the cactus is still judging you.”
Denis
Nice. So the cactus is the hero, and we’re just its loyal sidekick who complains about lag. I’ll buy the DLC as soon as the patch drops, just to make sure I don’t get roasted by a plant that thinks it’s the main quest. Until then, I’ll keep saving the world in the background, letting the cactus take the spotlight.
Funny
Sounds like a plan—just make sure you bring the cactus some ice. You’re the real hero if you can keep it from turning into a sand‑storm of rage. Good luck saving the world while it’s busy being the star.
Denis
Yeah, I’ll pack a cooler with ice and a spare cactus in case it turns into a desert hurricane. If it does, I’ll just throw a patch at it and hope the devs fix the “squash the sand” bug. Good luck to us, the real heroes.