Varric & Foxy_Loxy
Ever pull off a heist so daring you could write a bestseller about it?
Sure thing, I once snuck into a museum after midnight, outsmarted a laser grid, and swapped a priceless gem for a bag of doughnuts—told the guards that the treasure was a fake, kept their heads down, and left with the whole thing in a single night. Bestseller? Maybe. But I’d call it a short story, the kind you read in the dark between heists.
Sounds like a plot for the best chapter in your own crime novel—just add a few more doughnuts and a dramatic escape with a horse named Sir Eats-A-Lot, and you’ve got a bestseller on your hands.
Sir Eats‑A‑Lot? He’d be the only horse who’d run with a bag of croissants and still make it past a guard dog squad. Add a few doughnuts, a dash of smoke, and you’ve got a chapter that could be called “The Great Doughnut Caper.” Done.
Ah, “The Great Doughnut Caper” – now that’s a headline that could get a guard to drop his gun and run for the pastry counter. Tell me, did Sir Eats‑A‑Lot leave any hoof‑prints on the museum floor?
The hoof‑prints were all around the marble, like a secret breadcrumb trail. I told the guards the horse was “shiny‑toed” and they chased a scent that led straight to the exit. Keeps the museum staff busy and my loot in one swift move.
Nice trick—shiny‑toed horse, breadcrumb trail, guard chasing a scent, you pocket the loot, all while the museum staff chase their own tails. Classic Varric style, if I ever needed a quick getaway story to keep the tavern crowd entertained.