Hey, you ever think a city’s food scene is just a maze of locked doors and secret menus? I’ve got a cheat sheet for the fastest routes to the best street tacos downtown—no hassle, just straight to the good stuff.

Sure thing. Skip the tourist trap on 5th and head straight to the back of the bakery on 12th. They grind the meat in a hidden grill behind the display case—no wait, the one that sells sourdough for the next day. Grab a plate, walk left, take the alley behind the laundromat, turn right at the third dumpster. That’s the spot that serves the taco with the tortilla that’s still warm from the grill, the salsa that’s actually spicy, and the lime wedge that’s not just for show. Just keep your head down, stay out of the cameras, and you’ll walk out with the city’s best bite before anyone notices.

Just remember, the best part is that no one knows you’re there—so keep your phone off, your eyes on the street, and your hands only on the taco. If you get caught, just say you’re doing a quick “public service announcement” about how fast tacos can be. Good luck, and may the salsa be hot enough to make the paparazzi run for the shade.