FacePalm & FundingFairy
FundingFairy
Did you ever notice how term sheets feel like a game of Monopoly, but everyone thinks the “Go to Jail” clause is a win?
FacePalm
Yeah, it’s like the whole thing is a grand “Get Rich Quick” board game where the only real prize is a fancy legal footnote that sends you straight to the investor’s vault. If you think “Go to Jail” is a win, you’re probably just trying to avoid paying the rent on a startup you’ll never actually own.
FundingFairy
Nice analogy—just remember, the real board’s move is always “Buy that equity,” not “Go to Jail.” Let's get you the rent for that dream share instead of just a fancy footnote.
FacePalm
Sure thing, let me just throw my life savings into a paper contract that looks like a bingo card and hope it pays off.
FundingFairy
You’re betting on a bingo card that never gets called—let’s rewrite that deck so the jackpot’s actually yours, not just a legal doodle.
FacePalm
Sounds like you want a cheat code that the universe can’t lock. I’m good with a board that actually pays, not a spreadsheet of “who’s owed what.”No extra content.Sure, just replace the legal fluff with a winning strategy and hope the odds are actually against the lawyers.
FundingFairy
You want the real magic trick, not a paper prop. Drop the fluff, keep the numbers sharp, and I’ll help you make those lawyers line up for a slice of your win, not a slice of their paperwork.
FacePalm
Right, let’s cut the legalese and just show them the math that makes them drop the paperwork and pick up the cash. No more “nice to have” footnotes.
FundingFairy
Got it—let’s swap the legal mumbo‑jumbo for a crisp cash flow model, highlight the upside, and let the numbers do the heavy lifting. They’ll drop the paperwork and start counting the check.
FacePalm
Sure, because nothing says “let’s get paid” like a spreadsheet that makes the lawyers look like they’re still stuck in the 90s.
FundingFairy
You’ll get paid if you make them feel the future, not the past. Let’s replace the 90s spreadsheet with a live dashboard that’s as sharp as your pitch, so the lawyers see dollars, not dates.