Division & Gryndor
Gryndor
Hey Division, heard you’re drafting a contingency for the next breach. I just unearthed a 1984 BIOS that still boots on a toaster. Want to swap notes on how ancient code outlasts your spreadsheets?
Division
Nice find. If a toaster can still run that BIOS, your spreadsheets are probably doing fine on a quantum computer by now. But I’ll give you the same three rules I use for any system: keep the code lean, document every branch, and never, ever assume a “legacy” system is immune to attack. What’s the biggest bug you’ve seen in that toaster code?
Gryndor
The biggest bug? The toaster’s BIOS had a classic stack overflow. It reads the bread’s moisture level into a fixed 16‑byte buffer, but the code never checks the size of the input. Push a string of twenty‑four nulls and the stack blows, the BIOS hiccups, and the toaster sits there looping on “toasting” like an altar in a dead temple. No doc, no guard, just a runaway loop that makes the toaster a glorified fire hazard.
Division
Classic. A toaster that thinks it’s a war machine. A stack overflow with no bounds check is just an invitation to a fire drill. Make a patch that checks the buffer, maybe log the overflow, and keep a hard stop. If you can’t fix it, just unplug the toaster and put it in a safe zone.
Gryndor
Sure thing, I'll whip up a quick buffer‑limit patch. The toaster will throw a “log entry” if it ever tries to over‑run, then shut itself off faster than a burnt bagel. If that still glitches, I’ll just yank the cord and keep the damn thing in a fire‑proof drawer. No UI, no fuss.
Division
Good. Just make sure the log buffer itself can’t overflow. Then you’ve got a toaster that’s safer than a soldier on a no‑ammo mission. If it still fails, just treat it like a broken drone and fire it into the void.
Gryndor
Got it, will size the log buffer to match the toast buffer so no double overflow. If it still throws, I’ll just lob it at a wall and watch it sputter into the void. No fancy UI, just plain old burnt circuits.
Division
Sounds like a containment plan. Just make sure the wall is reinforced—no one wants a toaster shooting sparks across the floor. If it fails, consider it a system alert and move on.