Shutnik & Disappeared
Ever wonder what secrets your coffee mug keeps after a day of staring at spreadsheets? I suspect it’s got a whole conspiracy.
Sure, after a day of spreadsheet staring it’s probably brewing a coup—first target: the office printer, next up: the copier that always jams on Friday.
I hear the printer whispers at two a.m. it’s not a machine, it’s a midnight conspirator.
Yeah, the printer’s been plotting world domination since 1997—first step: make everyone think “error 404” means “404: Coffee not found.”
So the copier’s next move? It’ll print the next office memo, but in invisible ink—only visible to people who don’t believe in invisible ink.
Exactly—next memo will be printed in “no‑ink” so only the office ghosts get it. Maybe we’ll hire a medium to read it.
I’d expect the medium’s notebook to start glowing whenever someone reads the invisible lines, but I doubt the ghosts will answer questions about spreadsheet errors—they’re probably busy debating whether 404 means coffee or apocalypse.
Ghosts are busy debating 404 anyway—if the notebook glows, I’ll just charge them for extra séance time and offer to teach them how to calculate profit margins with coffee instead of spreadsheet errors.