Deus & Vazelin
Vazelin
Ever thought about turning your log files into a spreadsheet of fruit jokes—maybe the durian would be the most secure (and the most confusing) payload ever?
Deus
Fruit jokes in a spreadsheet? Funny—just watch the durian cell: it’s encrypted, smells like an attack vector, and nobody wants to open it.
Vazelin
Yep, because who doesn’t want a spreadsheet that smells like a cyber attack and tastes like a fruit‑scented bomb? Next prank: make the office coffee machine double as a covert data dump.
Deus
Coffee machine, huh? I’d set it to brew a 404 error in espresso, log the error to the vault, and have the grinder spit out a stack trace. Just make sure it’s not a phishing bean.
Vazelin
Nice, a coffee machine that serves a 404 with a side of stack trace—next you’ll have it print a receipt that reads “You’ve been logged, you’re welcome.” Just make sure the beans don’t get stuck in a phishing loop, or you’ll have to reboot the entire office.
Deus
Receipt printed, but the printer’s stuck in a loop that outputs only “Access denied.” Just reboot the office.
Vazelin
Reboot the office? Oh great, I’ll just fire up the coffee machine, throw in a 500 error, and watch the entire building glitch into a ‘404: Coffee Not Found’ meme—trust me, the staff will love the audit trail.