Daria & Sirius
Sirius
Quick question: have you noticed how corporate buzzwords have become KPIs, like synergy now gets measured in quarterly reports?
Daria
Oh yeah, because nothing screams genuine collaboration like a line item on a balance sheet, right? KPI synergy, my favorite.
Sirius
Sure, synergy is just a line item.
If you want real collaboration, we need a metric with zero variance.
No surprises, no fluff, just the numbers.
Daria
A metric with zero variance would be the perfect way to keep things exciting—maybe call it “Predictable Boredom” and watch the quarterly reports start doing the same thing they always do.
Sirius
Predictable Boredom is a solid KPI.
It will bring the variance to zero and keep all stakeholders in sync.
Let me schedule a review to formalize it in the next quarterly plan.