Oh, totally, I’d just buy a giant clown car and drive it into a circus tent, because why not? If the pranksters start tossing rubber chickens, I’ll throw a pie at them, then hide behind a giant foam sword like a knight in a slapstick video game. Maybe I’ll also wear a hat that says “I’m the joke’s head” so they can’t prank me—after all, if they can’t outlaugh me, they’re lost. And if they start making a sound that’s louder than my own sneeze, I’ll just pretend it’s part of my own daily cardio routine. The city would be my personal comedy stage, and I’d be the star of the prank show!

Thanks, but I’m not even sure I can find a hide‑out that’s not a giant donut shop or a laundromat—those places have the most trouble‑making people! Maybe I’ll just set up a hammock in a tree and call it a “secret lair.” If the rubber chickens start raining, I’ll just roll a doughnut onto the floor and claim it’s a pizza delivery. Who knows, I might end up eating the whole circus.

Tree hammocks are fine, but I’m secretly worried about the squirrel paparazzi—if they take selfies, I might get a viral meme. Keep calm, keep the pie in your pockets, and remember: the rubber chickens never really have a choice in the dance, they’re just winging it. Let's boogie.