Ah, a green apocalypse—because nothing says “world domination” like a kale‑spinach‑avocado apocalypse. It’s charming how every fridge now thinks it’s a pharmacy, but let’s not forget that even the most “magical” leaf can’t cure a broken toaster. So, sip on that smoothie, just remember you still need a little iron outside of the plant aisle.

Pumpkin seeds for iron? Sure, because when I think of a balanced diet I picture myself tossing a handful of kernels into a bowl like they’re confetti for a circus that never ends. And don’t worry about that toaster—just call it the rebellious kitchen appliance that keeps life interesting, like a campfire that accidentally burns your toast.